I’m sitting here tonight reflecting on the journey that Alexander and I have been on to become parents. When you get married; and decide you want children, you don’t generally think it’s going to take long. I thought it might be difficult because of my PCOS, but not impossible. When it didn’t happen month after month of taking tests, knowing I was the reason we couldn’t get pregnant, I started feeling defeated. I felt like a failure. The one main thing a woman should be able to do. I couldn’t do. I couldn’t give my husband a child. It took a lot of faith in God, and a lot of support and love from my family and friends, and after 4 years of trying; we started our adoption journey.
October 2018, we started getting intake forms from potential birth moms. Every time I’d get an email, I would have that glimmer of hope that maybe THIS one will choose us! Then no one did. Again, I felt like we were doing something wrong! We basically redid our entire profile book and started showing again. January 2nd or 3rd 2019, we got matched with a baby boy due in June! We were so excited! We told our parents by making them a baby onesie that said “Baby Younger coming June 2019” or something like that. We were all over the moon! I was able to talk with our birth mom throughout the rest of her pregnancy. We developed a bond, and I really cared for her. We couldn’t wait to meet Baby Micah-we were so excited we already had a name picked out! He was due June 8th, and it was determined she was going to have a C-section on June 6th or 7th. We had plane tickets to fly down on Tuesday June 4th! On Monday evening, we got that dreaded call that she had changed her mind. One day. One day before we were to fly down to meet our sweet boy!
I was devastated. I was honestly angry. And embarrassingly, I was also angry with God. Why!? Why dangle this baby in front my face just to tear it away!? We took about a week and decided to get back at it. We knew OUR baby was out there. God knew it. But we didn’t know who or when. I was contacted by someone who knew someone who was considering adoption for her triplets! We were like woah! Hang on there. We WANT 4…but didn’t think of doing them all at once! Yikes! Since it wasn’t an agency, it was just an individual at this point, I wasn’t even sure if that would be possible with our grant…so I asked our “fairy godmother.” She said wait. She said help this woman in any way I could, to help these babies land in a Christian home…but there was “something else in the works” for us.
The next day at work (June 21st) I get that marvelous call again from Dana! Another mom had chosen us! Baby BOY was due in August! Mom hadn’t had any prenatal care yet, and we had a couple months… or so we thought! Tuesday June 25th laying in bed asleep, I get another call from Dana that mom is in labor, then a couple hours later that baby is here and we need to get on a plane the next day! (Remember those onesies we made? “Baby BOY Younger June 2019?” Yep. We still had our baby boy in June 2019!) We got plane tickets the next day, but what an experience that was! Delay after delay after delay, having to switch terminals 3 times, we FINALLY board our plane. As we are boarding, our social worker sent us a picture, and we got our first peek at our baby boy!
We had to fly from Wisconsin to Arizona. We were greeted by our social worker, and our birth mom’s friend. We went to the cafeteria to grab some food (it was past midnight at this point). While in the cafeteria we were told that our birth mom MIGHT bring up the fact that she has an older son in foster care and ask us to keep the kids together. And she did. That was one of the first things she asked. We were encouraged not to feel obligated. People told us we came down for this baby…not two, are you sure you’re ready for two at once…? I call Dana, and she says, “go get that baby!” If God brought us through all of this hurt, this MUST be His plan! Right!?
So, we did what we needed to do to go get that baby! When we were there, we got to meet him. He got to meet his brand-new baby brother. This little 18-month-old with so much energy and love. We couldn’t wait to get him home with us, and really start our family together. We flew home, expecting it to be a somewhat easy process. We knew we needed to finalize Kaleb’s adoption before we could do Mason’s though. But we had hope of getting him home by Halloween, then Thanksgiving, then Christmas each time the social worker was like “there’s no rush, it will happen, this takes time.” Well after months of that, in March 2020 we decided we didn’t want to only have a relationship with him over FaceTime!
We were going to Arizona to visit him! We told our social worker we wanted to come home with him. We flew down on a red eye on Monday 3/9. We found out the next day that we would actually be able to bring him home! We had a good visit with his amazing foster family (who we will always and forever love like blood family). We flew home on Friday 3/13! Right. Before. The. Country. Shut. Down! 😳 Months and months of zoom meetings with social workers, new social workers, FaceTimes, and birth to three visits-all virtual because COVID has shut us all down.
Now we are FINALLY about 12 hours away from his finalization! He is the sweetest boy. He is funny, loving, sweet, and a wee bit sassy. 😉 I can’t imagine my world without him. He and Kaleb are 100% biological brothers…and it shows. They love each other, but of course fight like brothers too. God definitely knew what He was doing when we “lost” Micah. If that didn’t happen, we wouldn’t have our Kaleb, and his big brother. 12 more hours, sweet boy! Get some good sleep tonight! Tomorrow is all about YOU! You will officially be a little Younger!!! Mommy and daddy love you SO much!!!!