In Japan, there is an ancient art called Kintsugi or “golden joinery”. This ancient practice takes damaged pottery and rejoins the pieces with gold, creating a unique piece of art that highlights the piece’s history and survival. Adoption is like a piece initially broken but repaired by Kintsugi. We can and should acknowledge that adoption begins in a brokenness not authored by God. But as with all broken things, God in His goodness provides a good answer. Through adoption, He lovingly gathers each piece, ready to redeem what was broken.
It is difficult to hold together the brokenness present within adoptions along with the beauty God creates. Adoption is nuanced which our society finds uncomfortable. We live in a time obsessed with absolutes and extremes. For Christians, there are absolutes that govern our lives – the aspects of our faith that God has given direct commands and instructions. Underneath the umbrella of God’s absolute, unchangeable Truth, much of life is nuanced. There are few areas that only have one correct path. Some paths are better than others, but within God’s absolutes, He allows space for judgment. Yet our society seeks to place definitive labels on everything. Generalizations and stereotyping fill the airways. Within the realm of adoption, it is no different. Adoption is very polarizing. One side contends that we are robbing cradles from poor, oppressed women and traumatizing children while the other side lauds adoption as a salvation act and celebrates without consideration for the brokenness of its beginning. Both narratives have a kernel of truth, but both are incomplete in isolation. Each ideological camp fails to remember the full picture- the kintsugi–pieces broken yet honored and brought together as a beautiful and new whole in the adoption story.
Adoption is both heart-breaking and breath-taking. It exists in the in-between where darkness and light meet. God designed it to be this way when He included it in His plan to redeem us all to fix the destruction caused by sin and to adopt us into His forever family. He took us, irrevocably broken in our sin, and filled in the cracks, fixed and transformed each of us into His treasure. Just as God did not desire sin, He does not desire broken families. As of early 2025, it is estimated that around 390,000 children are in foster care in the United States. This is almost 400,000 children who have faced unimaginable trauma, neglect, or difficult circumstances with uncertain futures and scars to last a lifetime. Does our good God want this? Absolutely not!
We live in a world ruined by sin. BUT GOD. These two most powerful words remind us that God is not thwarted by broken plans and tainted lives. God’s Word is full of stories where God takes a dark and devastating reality only to turn it into absolute victory. The most beautiful story of all is Jesus, our dear and loving friend, who left His heavenly home, to come to earth and live in this broken, sinful world for 33 years. He endured all the daily stress, the aches, the struggles of life while He healed the sick, the lame, and the blind. He raised the dead and brought hope to multitudes. Yet He was hung on a cross in what must have felt like a cruel victory for the enemy to His followers. BUT GOD. Our Father planned this from the beginning of the world. He raised His beloved Son to absolute victory for you and for me. Our good and gracious God can take any situation, any sinful decision, or horrible circumstance, no matter how broken, and create a story that is beautiful. He does this great work in godly adoption!
God never wanted broken families, and, in a perfect world, adoption would not be necessary because families would always be whole…yet here we are. Of course, I love my children, and I will forever be grateful that their birth parents chose us to be their forever family. In our adoption story, I can choose to hold the brokenness and joy together, being thankful that I have my children and still recognizing that God’s plan was not for broken families. I can mourn for the loss of their birth family while also rejoicing that they are mine. I can recognize that God, in His infinite wisdom, created adoption to fix what sin has broken. That is why adoption is a holy calling for the glory of the Lord.
Not every adoption is picture perfect, and some adoptive children will carry scars for life. Adoption is messy and hard for everyone it touches, but it is also so special. For the Christian adoptive family, adoption reflects the love of our Father and the beauty of a past redeemed. As Christians, we are here to spread the light of the Gospel, and, by helping the innocent through adoption, we strive to do so in a most profound way. We are the vessels that the Lord can use to redeem a broken past and transform it. Adoption is not a salvific act, and adoptive parents are not saviors. We are simply people who desire to reflect God’s love. We step into broken stories and trust Him to bring healing, to take fractured beginnings and shape them into something new.
In our story, we’ve been blessed with so much generosity, love, and support from free housing to meals to financial support. The Lord has blessed and continues to bless us through the love of His people. This outpouring of love does not erase the brokenness of our children’s beginnings. But God uses that light—His love and the love of His people—to fill the cracks and create something beautiful for His glory and the good of those involved. Like Kintsugi, the fractures remain visible. But they tell a story—not just of loss, but of redemption. A story where light shines through broken pieces, revealing the goodness and glory of God.
