We have always viewed adoption as emblematic of how God works in our lives. Walking through the adoption process highlighted the very essence of what it means for God to have a plan for our lives, to let go and trust in that plan, even if we cannot see beyond the next step. God has surrounded us with people that love with all their hearts, who give insights when needed, who offer encouragement, and in the words of Romans 12:15, who “rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep.” We understand this, in theory, but during the busy times, the tired times and the times where we lose hope, it can be difficult to see the wisdom of God’s next steps.
For me, knowing the definition of adoption was easy. Pull out the Merriam-Webster dictionary… done! You don’t even have to turn that many pages. The true meaning of adoption is much deeper. Adoption touched my life long before Gideon, but I don’t know that I really understood what it meant until after he was born. Sarah and I sat at my parent’s kitchen table one night before Gideon’s adoption had been finalized and I told them that I felt worried about struggles as a new parent. I was especially worried that, as Gideon aged, I would be ill-prepared for how to work through a relationship that may be strained by a lack of blood connection.
My father looked at me, gave me a big grin and said, “Do you struggle with Kurt?” Those words immediately sank in. For context, Kurt is my half-brother. That was a fact that I was not cognizant of until my pre-teens and one that utterly left my mind for the rest of my life. My father adopted Kurt to be his son, and nothing in my life had shown me that Dad ever thought of him in any other way.
He then said, “Do you struggle with Jackie, Anne, or Denise?” These are my cousins who are of Asian descent, who were adopted by my aunt, but who had never been anything to us except, simply, family. In a split second, my father showed me that I already knew what adoption really was… It’s just love, freely given. At the forefront of everything- the ups and downs, the trials and the celebrations – ADOPTION IS LOVE.
From that point on, it seemed so silly that I didn’t already understand that. The instruction of my father here on earth reminded me, as it has on so many occasions, of the love of my Father in Heaven. God has adopted us. We, as Christians, are children of God through that adoption. We do share a blood connection, but it is not physical. It was born out of love with Christ’s sacrifice.
I would like to end by sharing something I wrote for Gideon and hope to share with our new daughter as well:
“I cannot say that you have your Mother’s eyes, but I will strive to make sure you see the beauty of this world and the good in its people. I cannot say that you will inherit my shoe size or strength, but I look forward to helping you walk in God’s ways and to reach out to love and care for others. It is not our blood that runs in your veins, but it will bring me joy to share the heart that we have and the love that abides in it, and to teach you to love in the same way. There are so many days that I don’t consider that you are adopted, because you are mine.”
