Last month we shared a list of ideas shared by some Sacred Selections families: how a local community can be supportive and stand alongside prospective adoptive parents as they prepare to adopt. Today we’re adding onto that list with meaningful ways you can be present and supportive from “Got the Call” through their family’s journey!
Got The Call!
If you follow our social media, you’ve seen the posts that a family “got the call”. This means it’s time to move! Whether it’s traveling one mile or a thousand miles, this is a time of busy movement and a flurry of activity.
This period of travel can be quick or can last several weeks, providing lots of opportunity for service and love from those around the family:
- Pray for safety with travel and that God’s hand be on all triad members in the potential adoption relationship.
- Offer to house sit and/or care for pets.
- Cover the cost of a vehicle maintenance update before the trip, if they are driving.
- Donate miles for flights, gift cards for gas, food, or other needs for traveling.
- Send encouraging texts while they are gone with reminders that they are loved and being prayed for.
- Open your home for a family to stay if they are in your area.
Early Days At Home
Whether bringing home an infant or a child, there are a lot of adjustments to be made during the homecoming period. This transition impacts all members of the family. In the midst of possible overwhelm and maybe a lack of sleep… there is so much joy and excitement!
Support families during this stage like you would for any other growing families. Here are some of the shared ideas that include some things you might not think about typically:
- Set up a meal train for the early days at home. This can also be a comfort if a family comes home from a trip with empty arms after a disruption.
- Ask what they need. It could be diapers and formula. Or it might be gift cards for an older child to pick out things that will make their new room feel like home, clothes of their own style and choosing, or school supplies.
- Offer to take other kids to the park to burn off some energy or give space for the new family member to settle in.
- Welcome the new addition to the family. Consider hosting an open-house to build relationships outside of the worship environment, if the parents agree that it is a good idea.
- Help with basic home maintenance or yardwork.
- Exhibit compassion, grace, positive attitudes, and love for all members of the family. Bringing kids home is hard work, but it’s just the beginning. Encourage the church community to support these families.
Years Into Adoption
The growth of a family is an exciting time. Years later, though, there are still many ways to be a source of support and comfort to parents and children in families brought together through adoption.
- Find ways to include the whole family. Some ideas include developing relationships with older kids, attending events like birthday parties and school activities, and avoiding labels.
- Resist the tendency to treat the parents like they are “heroes” or say that the kids are “lucky” to have been adopted by them. Adoption is a blessing, but it is also complex. Comments like this typically mean well, but fail to grasp the many sides of each adoption’s unique circumstances.
- Babysit some or all of the kids to allow for a date night or one-on-one time with other children.
- Understand that they may need to parent in ways that look different from what we are used to seeing.
- Provide transportation for things like appointments.
- Send a coffee gift card or provide a meal for busy days.
- Talk to the parents if you’re struggling with a child’s behaviors while teaching bible class.
- Respect boundaries set by the parents.
- Pray for parents navigating every stage of raising a child.
Each stage of parenthood and family life comes with its own unique needs and challenges. These needs and challenges create opportunity to weave together a tapestry made of love, community, and service; a culture built on support and encouragement. For adoptive families, the needs may look a little different than for others.
So whatever stage you are in, and whatever the stages of the families around you, there will always be ways you can step forward to hold up arms, build connections, and serve with love. We are called to both do hard things and to bear one another’s heavy burdens in our walk to shine God’s light in His world. Thank you for your part in weaving the beautiful tapestry of family – that includes adoptive families – in your own community!
Learn more about adoption and receiving funding support from Sacred Selections by calling or texting Ellen at 615-777-3946 or email ellen@sacredselections.org.
